you're a mystery yourself

Thursday, December 09, 2004

5:38 PM

[life is pretty]

life is pretty bcos i have you. you seems to brighten up my days without much effort. even without seeing you, your messages could easily light up my smile. to look back, i wonder why i even like to shout at u sometimes when i scanned thru the list you are indeed sometimes "flawless" -

i mumbled some stuff to myself those XxxxXxxxxXxx
So Im sitting there, thinking about what I just said out loud, thinking, what does that mean really...and then it came to me then..
the part n parcel of life. i'm slowing getting to it. how life changes how my environment moves from one to another. how the ppl i loved will fade away.how tears shed will somehow make another grow. how my independence will help me to survive in this harsh world.

i realized today, while cleaning out my room, that i'm rather happie/satisfied with most of the aspect of my life at this point of time. mostly i like the way i look even though i have grown chubbier .

Its never wrong to take a compliment from someone and believe it what they say, believe that they are being true and sincere, and really mean what they are telling you....they dont always have a hidden message in there or they are not always making fun of you....or whatever....they really do think what they told you...and you should never feel bad for believing it yourself.

So when someone says to me....you look so nice in that outfit.....what I would have said was.....NO, The shirt is too tight, look at my hair, the pants are ugly...blah blah blah. When I know inside my mind that when I left the house I thought I looked pretty good....but I cant admit that I think I look good, I cant admit that yeah that is a hella cute outfit I have on....but never ever admit that...you dont want anyone to think your cocky, or think your really special, or you hung the moon all by yourself, or whatever....and in all actuallity...they dont think that at all....its worse when you disagree and make a huge issue out of something that could have been ended with a "Hey thanx, so do you" or a "Thanx, I do look kinda cute dont I"

And no Im not just talking about looks and the way I dress...I am talking about everything in my life....from that stuff....to studies, to my living situation....to everything.

i appreciate my life really. thanks mom. i shouldnt have argued or shouted at you for trying to push my face down and mopped that floor or threated to kill my kitten or throw the dog out. i love you so much -

sch starting soon. the no. of lit books i've read ? - none - the no. of gp articles i've read - 3 the no. of homework i have done - zero. i know when jAnuary comes, i've less of freedom, less of love, less of beach, less of sun, i'm gonna slog my ass of for that entry to uNiveRsity. sigh* i can't wait to get in there.

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