you're a mystery yourself

Sunday, December 12, 2004

8:13 PM

Life is so complicated. I don’t want to be an adult with adult problems. The older you get, the more you learn and the more complicated life becomes. Why is that? Is it because you know so much that you are less inclined to jump in with your eyes closed? I used to be that way. Jumping in with both eyes closed used to be my specialty, it’s how I wound up making so many mistakes. I can also say it’s honestly brought me a lot of happiness. Now I am paralyzed because I know the logical answer to my questions, but I still have a lingering wish to jump blindly. I stand on a fork in the road and I know which way I should choose, I only wish in some way I could split myself in two and choose both. I only wish I never once had to ask the question, What if? No matter what I do that question will always linger. What if? And I will never know the answer, no matter which way I choose.

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